True Blue Bill: Truthful Bill

I live up in the mountains,
Up where the snakes have legs;
The hoot owls speak in English,
And the roosters lay square eggs.

I shaved my beard and mustache
The mornin' I was born
That night I fought with my old man
And I drank his riot corn.



I am a truthful fellow
My name is True Blue Bill
I've never told a falsehood
And I bet I never will.

One time when I was shipwrecked
On islands in the sea,
I was captured by the Cannibals
And they tied me to a tree.

And they danced and beat their tom toms
Till they got rather rough,
But they said I wouldn't make good steak,
Because I looked too tough.

Oh the father of our country
Would never tell a lie,
And he was my great uncle,
So I ask you, why should I?

I used to be a flyer
And in my aero-plane
I flew across to Paris
And started home again.

When I got halfway over
The doggone motor balked.
I let the blame thing sit up there
And I got out and walked.

I am a truthful fellow
My name is True Blue Bill
I never told a falsehood
And I bet I never will.
I've swam the wide Pacific
and walked upon the Moon,
I've waded forty feet of snow
the 31st of June.

I am a truthful fellow
My name is True Blue Bill
I never told a falsehood
And I bet I never will.
I went three rounds with Dempsey,
I'm as proud as I can be.
I went on a Ferris wheel
and he went 'round with me.

I died and went to heaven,
way above the clouds.
But came back down to earth again,
They played the harps too loud.

I am a truthful fellow
My name is True Blue Bill
I never told a falsehood
And I bet I never will.