Sunday School

Young folks, old folks, everybody come
Join our happy Sunday School, and have a lot of fun
Please check your chewing gum and raisins at the door
And you'll hear some Bible stories that you've never heard before


Shadrak, Meshak, and Abednigo
Wouldn't obey the king, so they had to go
Put 'em in a furnace to burn 'em up like chaff
But their asbestos B.V.D.s gave the king a laugh



The world was made in six days and finished on the seventh
According to the contract it should have been the eleventh
But the union called a strike and workers wouldn't work
So the only thing that they could do was fill it up with dirt


Adam was the first man that ever was invented
He lived all his life and never was contented
He was made of clay in the days gone by
And hung on a fence in the sun to dry

Adam was a gardener and Eve was his spouse
They got the sack for stealing fruit and took to keeping house
They lived a very quiet life and peaceful in the main
'Til Eve had a baby and they started raising Cain


Noah was a mariner who sailed around the sea
With half a dozen relatives and a big menagerie
He failed the first season when it rained for forty days
For in that kind of weather no circus ever pays

Joseph was a shepherd, too, he kept his father's goats
His father used to dress him in the very loudest coats
His brothers they got jealous and threw him in a well
Joseph went to heaven and others went to hell


Joshua played the trumpet, so runs the ancient rhyme
He taught the Israelites to play in syncopated time
But when they played in Jericho, their music raised a frown
So he set the boys a'swinging, and the walls come tumbling down

Pharaoh had a daughter, she had a winsome smile
She found the infant Moses a-floating in the Nile
She took him to her father, said "I've found him on the shore"
Pharaoh winked his eye and said "I've heard that tale before"


Jonah was an landsman, so runs the Bible tale
He took a steerage passage on a transatlantic whale
Jonah in the belly of the whale felt quite compressed
So he pushed a little button and the whale did the rest

Samson was a husky guy as everyone should know
He used to lift five-hundred pounds as strongman on the show
One week the bill was rotten and the actors had a souse
But the strongman act of Samson's, still brought down the house


David was a shepherd boy, a plucky little cuss
Along came Goliath a-looking for a fuss
David took a slinky and socked him on the crust
Goliath reeled a couple a times and then he bit the dust

God made Satan, Satan made sin
God made a hot place to keep Satan in
Satan didn't like it so he said he wouldn't stay
He's been acting like the devil ever since that day


Daniel was a prophet, he wouldn't obey the king
The king said to Daniel, "This is a naughty thing."
Put him in a lion's den with lions down beneath
But Daniel was an artist so he drew the lions' teeth

Salomi was a dancer and she danced before the king
She wiggled and she waggled and she shook most everything
The king tells Salomi, "We'll have no scandal here!"
"The hell we won't!" Salomi said, and she kicked the chandelier


Elijah was a prophet, who attended county fairs
With a box of patent medicine and a troop of dancing bears.
He prophesied successfully 'most every afternoon,
And he went up in the evenings in a patent fire balloon.